Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
