the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
