I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
