There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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