I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
