guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
