I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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