You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize