My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize