Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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