My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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