Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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