i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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