walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
