Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize