I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize