Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
