ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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