david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
