Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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