and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
