the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize