were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
