Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
