I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize