I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
