What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
