so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
