ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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