No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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