We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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