im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
