so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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