We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
organizing the empties. That sober.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
