Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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