only if we run a train.
done.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
