She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
