there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
