I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
