I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
