I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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