A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
