But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the day after is always just damage control
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
