..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
