fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
