Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
