is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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