oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
