yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
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My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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