i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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