is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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