there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
