The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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