as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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