"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
