Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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