Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
