are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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