I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
