He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize