We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
