that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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