I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ttyl tear gas
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
