living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She's the barista slut.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
