well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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