I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
