You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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