dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
