wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can I color on your dick again?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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