ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
