i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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