who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We have started to decorate penises.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
