I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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