well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
